* Spark of Creation *

catholic lessons.. hahaa .

^^ that's really all that needs to be said.

Posted by emma at 5:17 PM | Permalink | Comments

wow... i can't believe they canceled a thing like school over stupid junk like snow.

that's so dumb

now i'm really bored.. you see, i need so much social activity just to stay alive.

They are still having school in pitman.

I think i should just move there

I mean, i know people there. It wouldn't bother me just to pack up and move...

I'm trying to make this as long as i can so that they next entry falls out of sight. Not that i don't want anyone to see it, i just don't want people getting the wrong idea.

I wonder how much more i'll have to write before it fills up the whole page.

Hopefully, this is enough...

Just incase it isn't.. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

`emma

Posted by emma at 11:18 AM | Permalink | Comments

ahhh !


I've waited sooo long... i like this new feeling :-D Things are finally looking like they'll turn around.. i mean, i've missed this since it ever stopped.. i'm happy we are friends again :-D

Posted by emma at 5:56 PM | Permalink | Comments

I saw this in heather's blog "How to make a Heather" so i did my name and got this:

How to make a emma

Ingredients: 5 parts intelligence 1 part brilliance 1 part ego

Method: Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Add a little fitness if desired!

Posted by emma at 1:33 PM | Permalink | Comments

I took another quiz... What type of girl are you?

It said...


You Are the Girl Next Door!You're caring, warm, and the girl that nice guys want to marry. Uncomplicated and simple, you've got an easy going attitude guys love. But this doesn't mean you're dull - far from it! You're a great conversationalist, and you're an expert at living the good life.

Posted by emma at 6:28 PM | Permalink | Comments

Everything between me and AnG is just fine now =D... in fact, we're back to the way we always were.. and god, did i miss it!

I hate when people are mad at me.. i take it all back about the non-cooperation... i was just too impatient.. she came around, and so did i. And i'm very thankful..

I love my anG =D

~emma

Posted by emma at 6:14 PM | Permalink | Comments

ahhh i took a quiz today and it was called "What color is your passion" - - i really liked the results!

It Said...


Your Passion is Pink!

You're the type of woman that would never get described as passionate...
Oh but you can be passionate at times - you just don't let it show.
Your passion most shows through in your sweet and optimistic attitude. And chances are, most people are very passionate about you!


I'd like people to be passionate about me.. =D

You can take the quiz too... at http://www.yournewromance.com/passionatequiz.html

Posted by emma at 6:08 PM | Permalink | Comments

Well, that last entry DID NOT work out the way i planned it would.
It just isn't fair.. why should i take all the apologies from her... and really try to understand and accept... if she's not going to cooperate?
I'm sore... but i forgave her... and understand where she's coming from... I even apologized to her... but i've tried to actually be friendly in public... she wouldn't look at me!
I just don't understand the deeply rooted rivalry <<((charlie brown!)>> we have.

Grr... that makes me soo mad! But... i'm not going to be mad at her... if i ever want her to talk to me again, then i'll stay collected... and not hostile.

But why?

Why should i try so hard if i know i won't see any results?

Posted by emma at 5:34 AM | Permalink | Comments

This is a continuation of a friend of mine's Fancy and Lost story. If you don't understand a word... well, I don't really have any sympathy, for this was designed for one person's eyes only. And I genuinely hope that the one person for which this was written reads it, and understands.

I read a story about a girl named Fancy, and she reminded me a lot of myself. Except Fancy's story and my story are a little bit different (please don't be discouraged here - this is not going where you think it is). You see, Fancy got really more upset than mad, and when she tried to be understanding, the words just couldn't come as coherently as she'd hoped (because she was feeling totally... confused and misguided). Fancy and the girl she "fought" with talked about it, and Fancy still sort of stayed mad at the girl, and the girl thought that she had lost Fancy and her boyfriend, Lost.

But I'm not entirely like Fancy. Fancy stayed mad at the girl. I didn't. The girl thought she lost Fancy as a friend, but she didn't lose me, and if she thinks she did.... well, maybe that explains why when i say hi to her anymore, i get, not a hello in response, but a look of bewilderment.

I cannot speak on behalf of the guy known as Lost. But I can say this: Fancy is sorry and she misses you.

I hope you can understand that, and accept it. Because it's the honest truth - - not that I've proved i know anything about truth.

Somehow, I never thought I'd be the one to apologize perfusely, but I thought it was in order.

You really deserve an apology. Here's mine, please take it.

~emma

Posted by emma at 5:56 AM | Permalink | Comments

I thought i'd advertise on my journal my ticket sales.

Anyone who wants to see a preview of the show and get a spaghetti dinner with it, you're in luck, because i'm selling tickets.

An adult (which is most likely you) ticket is eight dollars.

See me if you're interested..

Sorry the date isn't here. I forget.

But its on the ticket.

~emma

Posted by emma at 6:07 AM | Permalink | Comments

Hi there.

I wish i could open each entry with some philosophical, mind-blowing statement... and all i can think to type is "hi".

Niiice.

Um... so yeah today we had rehearsal... and it was one of those days.. where it's fun.. but it's really not. It's only fun because you're pretending it's the greatest thing ever.

In reality, it was really hard to put up with.

We ran Beethoven Day with Ms. Dawn, who decided to pull what she pulled last week - - where she just kinda leaves a half hour before she's supposed to, and we're all sitting around forever... and then Jeannine finds out and asks us how long rehearsal was.. and we tell her it was early.. and she says "oh, well then we'll just have a chat"

well, that was what happened last week.

God knows what's going to happen this time.

Obviously, they never had that talk.

So here I am. It's Tuesday. And ... hm... oh yeah. Me and DJ started talking about sleeping through classes. I don't understand how you could possibly fall asleep in a class.. i don't care which one it is, i just couldn't do it. There's so many people around for you to talk to, how could you possibly fall asleep? I guess it's different when you have no friends.. not that DJ has no friends.

Mr. Snyder gave a powerful speech today. I mean, it really made me think. He was going on about how if girls have best friends that are guys, then they should be with them.

I don't know whether or not i like it.. but i know by now that he's absolutely right....

But on the surface, there are so many things wrong with that.

I mean... your "best friend" is probably only your friend because they eventually want to go out with you... but what if it's someone like.. say, Zimm... I know he has no interest in me for that kind of thing. Nor do i for him. On the other hand, i guess we're not Best Friends.

So that explains that.

I guess i'm out of conflicts running through my head.

Suppertime is a cool song.

Bye now.

Posted by emma at 5:10 PM | Permalink | Comments

Hey there again.

I love having a journal. I'm never, ever consistant, nor do ever spell anything right, but sometimes, when i ramble, i look over it again and can be proud of it.

Isn't that amazing?

Did that sound like Mrs. Ivory?

There's that forty-year-old coming out in me like i mentioned in the last entry.

I think I have a serious mental problem, one that could be clinically diagnosed. And i think it's screwing my life up. That, or I'm screwed up.

I mean, well... it's hard to say in a journal that i'm putting out there for everyone to read. There's a lot i keep bottled up inside, which isn't healthy, but hey... what're you gonna do?

I sometimes wish this wasn't public - there's soo much i want to say. Like my fickle-ness. I could probably write a book on being a fickle, two faced jerk, but um.. i won't.

At least, not now.

I constantly change opinion, change my likes and dislikes, and i'm afraid it's gonna hurt someone. Cause it's already screwed things up for me.

Okay, what happened today... i missed band, squaredancing, bio, and yeah.. that's it. For peer-mediation. God, as long as i remind myself of how good student counseling looks on a college application... that's the Only thing keeping me going.

other than that, i did okay. Mrs. Daunoras made us write an essay based on any quote from chatpers ten and eleven of anthem (of which all included theories i despise) and then she made us read them aloud and she read her grade for it aloud. That wasn't fair, i didnt' think. I got an A, which i guess is a ninety-five. But still...

Rehearsal today was frusterating. I mean, we blocked like, the first quarter of the show. It was a struggle, especially because there's five characters + me that i have to keep track of... which, of course, is all in vain, because i know i'll never get to be any of those characters in a performance. And i'm not the type to keep cyanide in my locker.

Joe took my coat again today. So that means that today, i got to wear one that zippers.

My mind has officially run out of thoughts, save for the ones that tell me "Your head is now empty. Please reload memory in the Day Events Automatic Feeder."

I've lost my mind at this point, a clear signal that i should end this now.

Posted by emma at 1:19 AM | Permalink | Comments

wow... now it's been a really long time since i've been here... actually i just remembered it. it's four thirty in the morning. i'm not sure how clear my thinking is at four thirty in the morning, but i guess we'll find out now.

the events over the past couple of days have really challenged my thinking. in a bizarre kind of way, they've been good for me. i'm not gonna elaborate here - it's my journal and i know what im talking about, and i know that the people that count know it too. if they don't , that's because it's none of thier business.

with that said, this has been really good for me. i know i felt really betrayed at the beginning, but i actually talked to the one who will remain in this entry as the Miscommunicator. Miscommunicator told me what seemed like the honest truth- hard to tell, since we were online. not my preference, but at least we worked it out. supposedly (and what did i expect) she did nothing wrong, but i couldn't have known that since the facts relayed to me weren't credible either.

all of it really makes no sense now, looking back on it. there's a major loophole where bestfriend #1 may have been lying, and if not, the Miscommunicator's apology was a lie.

I hate philosophy.

It seems that when i write, it no longer sounds like me. This entry doesn't sound like me, it sounds like a late 1960's author. why does that always happen?

maybe i'm a forty year old at heart.

maybe i'm senile already- that could explain a lot.

I don't know... that argument is in the past, but i'm still left to wonder. i mean, i've let her off, or rather... this kind of thing happens between us all the time. It appears to be that she's deliberately trying to mess things up for me, then somehow i understood it all wrong.

^^That's probably not the way it is. I probably do understand and am too soft to realize that she's lying to my face to get it out.

But the thing is, i really can't be sure. i'm the kind of person who believes everything i'm told until the person proves they can't be trusted. i know some people like that - but the numbers are quite small...

In further news... squaredancing... what mixed feelings i have.
Ad-selling... no new news there... i sill have no clue where to start ... and i need ideas.

I think i can sum up my experiences with the Miscommunicator very easily - be very careful who you tell things in confidence to, and when you know a darn secret, keep it! and dont' add to it. or change it.

stuff got all messed up and twisted. by the end of it, someone said i had been flirting with shane. and we know that's not right. i mean, as far as the two of us are concerned, he's my squaredancing partner and that's it.


I think i've said enough for one entry. i have to go get ready for school.

Posted by emma at 7:54 AM | Permalink | Comments