Thursday, March 31, 2005

shore

heyy

Spent the day in southern southern jersey... went to the Cape May Zoo and saw lots of pretty aminals and took LOTS of pictures... there was a pretty tiger, and the cutest little ocelot, and a capybara, which i could name before i saw the name plate. I'm so smart, i am

And i saw the scarlet ibis, which made me think of that sad story about that boy... who dies... Doodle ! that was his name. that was soo sad...

anyway, then we went to the mall ,... the one in cape may that's outside... i have no idea what it's called.. but i went there. it was funn... we got khor's bros. ice creammm.. only it was cold outside. but it still tasted good!

and thenn.... oh, and thennnn we went to the Rainforest Cafe in Atlantic City, the one by/at/in the Trump Plaza... i felt dirty walking through there... and it was soo cool .... i took pictures.. and ate food!... and had a volcano... only we were kinda by the kitchen, so he didnt' really have long to yell "volcano".. the "cano" part kinda died..... but it was yummy! we were so full we couldn't finish it all

and ughh... it's hard giving someone the benefit of the doubt, isn't it?

ughh

anyway, not gonna let that ruin my good day at the shore!

'night

Posted by emma at 10:03 PM | | Comments

Thursday, March 24, 2005

rambling to wake up

heyy

last night was fun

At the spur of the moment in the hallway yesterday, heather asked if i'd like to come over. I went around quarter to eight last night.. and stayed till ten.. so i didn't get home until 10:30 and not to bed until eleven.

I'm soooo tired

But last night was so funny, i wouldn't trade it :-P

and now i'm trying to keep myself awake by typing....

here's something i found in the drawer that i wrote last year...

no, nevermind, i don't feel like it. what i feel like now is a long, long shower.


Wouldn't it be embarassing to fall asleep in the shower ?

...i probably will.


~emma <32... <3

^^ =)

Posted by emma at 5:05 AM | | Comments

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

There's physical pain, and then there's love

heyy there....

ughh my foot's not right again... hurts to walk... oh well, most of the school day is sitting, and i'm sitting now...

but NY didn't help.. not that i would've traded it for time to sit... we were sitting a lot then too, and those shows were so incredible! so i'm glad i went..

but omgosh i had two packs of gum on saturday... and i didn't know they added phenylalanine to Wrigley's. And i had the worst chest pain of my life. And the next couple of days I felt so full.... and now the feeling's gone, and i'm hungry from not eating... so i pigged out today :-P

I love the music from rent. I can't help it.

And i'm sorta looking forward to the songwriting business coming this week. It should be fun.. working with matt on a song... heck it'll be intimidating, but i'll get through it. :-D

I'm in such doubt. I know i say it all the time, but i really don' t believe that's how they feel. I mean, it's always been a lie, why should this be any different? i'm so afraid of getting my hopes up... i'm so afraid of getting hurt again.

I guess that's life...

Life's really mean.

Maybe that's why carmen's failing it :-D he says he's happy, but i know the truth :-D

Can't wait for that bonfire, jeff =P

and... yupp, that's all the random comments left.


~emma

Posted by emma at 4:38 PM | | Comments

Monday, March 21, 2005

Fabricated?

heyy there


I'm so afraid

I'm so afraid that this isn't real. I'm so afraid that this time will be like every other time ... i fall too hard, too fast... and then the cushion I expect to be there gets ripped out from under me, the love gone.

Studies have shown that love dies fast, especially with me, for some reason.


And omgosh an old friend of mine started to drink and smoke. Please pray for her.


Thanks loves.


~emma

Posted by emma at 9:56 PM | | Comments

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Written in the Stars

I wish i never learned
What it is to be in love and have that love returned.

Posted by emma at 11:23 AM | | Comments

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Hypocrite?

I'm excited, angry, upset, and happy all at the same thing.

Geez, i'm complicated at times, and i don't even mean to be,

But i hate this . i screwed up big time.

And everything from a couple of entries ago about chasing love (titled "aaugh", i think) ? i take that all back. It's a wonderful philosophy, but i'm ditching it for the time being.

This is just bigger than that.

It's different now. I'm on the brink of something huge, and i'm not letting it get away.

(I love you too).

~emma

Posted by emma at 6:06 AM | | Comments

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Letting Go

hey

i've recently had to make a really tough decision that i thought was totally unfair.

And one night, i opened my devo up to a page called "letting go"

I didn't even read the whole thing, i looked up the verse first and this is what is said:

An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends;
he defies all sound judgement.
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding
but delights in airing his own opinions.
--Proverbs 18:1-2 (NIV)
Now usually i'm a NLT fan, but i thought this translation was better for this particular verse.
It really hit home. I'm a fool for trying to express my opinion without seeing the bigger picture. I was stubborn and didn't want to understand. This was a huge help.
I can't even begin to fathom what life would be like without my faith. To be able to hand my worries, my problems over, to have reassurance in every aspect of my life, being able to talk out all my problems with the Only One who really understands and always knows the perfect solution.
The prayer at the end of the devo (which i never use but decided to read)... the first lines were "I am so confident of my ability to control my life, and yet there are times when i have just had enough. Let me learn to turn to You for stength and wisdom."
...Isn't that perfect?

Posted by emma at 9:26 PM | | Comments

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Heyy

i came back from the mother-daughter retreat... that was SOOO much funn.... i had no idea i was an otter until this weekend.. and i also didn't know that Herr's popcorn was still really good at 12:30 at night... and i never knew that Mrs. Moorer saved a little girl from drowning... or that Mrs. Holmdal is a lion... and that Amanda's a beaver..

Anyway, after the retreat, and Applebee's and a virgin Mudslide, i went over to Matt's house with heather to study for the bio midterm... i felt so stupid, but it was soo much fun... matt kept reminding me of a ballerina, and now i can't fail :-P... plus, we played all our music from band.. in any key we felt like it... that was fun...

I had a great weekend, but Omgosh i'm not sure that i'm ready for this preview friday.. i really got to go over it with Gina,.. i'm sure she won't mind.

Alex, please come to the show... and I want to go to creationfest and the purple door thing.... i'll leave Delanco a day early too, i have to see relient K... i think creationfest sounds like a whole lot of fun...

So were those flippers, man.... Katie Mull, those were so awesome... next time i go swimming, you're coming.

But not BeccaRether... hahaa that's one word.. she makes me look like a lousy swimmer.. because i am.


'night.

Posted by emma at 10:37 PM | | Comments

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Aaugh!

heyy

OMGOSH love is so frusterating.

I hate it.

I do, i really do.

The only real love i think i've ever felt came from either (a) god or (b) my parents.

All other love is so fleeting, it's not worth chasing anymore.

It's like a swift, i don't know, cheetah, for example. It's gorgeous, and desirable, but comes and goes so quickly that there's no hope in catching it.

Please don't laugh at the poorly constructed metaphor, but that's, in essence, how i'm feeling..

poor and hopeless.


no longer will i try to chase it. It's either coming to me, or it's not worth it.

Amen.

Posted by emma at 4:21 PM | | Comments