* Spark of Creation *

Heyy..

I'm so sorry. Not for me, but for you, and what keeps happening to you.

I don't understand this. I know I should be mad at you for dragging me down into this... but i can't be mad at you. I just can't.

So I'm sorry nothing can ever work out for you. You probably could've handled it better, though.

Regardless, I want you to know that I'm here for you. I'm never going to see what I want, but that doesn't even matter anymore. I don't want you to hurt anymore - vent at me all you'd like.

I'd like it.

... oh, and Happy Halloween...

<3

Posted by emma at 6:07 AM | Permalink | Comments

Which hand holds your soul, do you want to guess one?
If that scares you to death, may that be a lesson.
It's your decision, make it the best one.

<(Relient K)>

_ This is strictly a suggestion, I will stand by you no matter what the outcome.__

Posted by emma at 5:32 PM | Permalink | Comments

Love is worth forgiving for <(jekyll and hyde!)>

... so i'm standing by my age-old resolution... hope is good. it's alright if i can never have what i really want. it's okay if i fall and get hurt... i'm ready and waiting to fall <(mae!!)>

but, chris, yeah, stupidity!


<3 byee

Posted by emma at 9:44 PM | Permalink | Comments

heyy

links are just kinda showing up in my entries... like the one below... i'm not putting them there, Blogger's randomly just doing it :-P have fun websurfing via BloggerRandomness.

<3

oh, P.S. - Chris, i read (what I think are) most of the comments...

(1) maybe the right guy IS out there.. it's very possible i've spent WAYY too much time chasing the wrong one.
(2) I want to watch the sunset, too!
(3) I can't wait until you get your license, either - i'm completely ready to be taken anywhere i want to go :-P


<3 emma

Posted by emma at 5:11 AM | Permalink | Comments

heyy..

it's, like, 6:00 in the morning, but i felt the need to update..

lots has happened that i haven't written about...

my fish died. that was depressing.


further... i was going through my blog, way back to... when it starts, thanks to chris (omgosh he left comments all over this thing, go read them :-p) and ... i realized something.

It keeps reoccuring. And I know now for sure that that's why i'm mad at myself. I just keep letting it happen. Eventually he's gonna pick up my heart and drop it too fast, and it'll just break completely. But there's evidence all over my history of times that he (hopefully unintentionally) had me going, just to leave me halfway, without further direction.

This time, though, it got me real close to the heart. This time impacted me so badly that i couldn't breathe.

But i'm catching my breath again (just like I had to do every other time).


Thank god for great friends.


AHHH! today i've got to lead a songggg! I"m so excited, but really intimidated.


wish me luckkkkk!... well, i guess no-one will read this in time, it's too late.. but oh well! hopefully saying "wish me luckkkkk" will bring me some :-P



<3

Posted by emma at 5:02 AM | Permalink | Comments

The Truth by Relient K - -

So I've collected all these thoughts
And I'm dying just to lose them
And if your words are true or not
I'll die trying to prove them

And I'll just have to accept
That my mind is so *inept*
And the only thing that's left
For me to do is to trust you

Convince me
'Cause I really need your help
Convince me
'Cause I can't see this for myself

I'll put the emphasis on the evidence
Begging for the proof
Sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth

This is so unnerving
I know you've never lied to me before
But the things you're telling me I can't yet believe
You can ignore

But I'll just have to accept
That my mind is so *inept*
And the only thing that's left
For me to do it to trust you

I'll put the emphasis on the evidence
Begging for the proof
Sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth

Since we've placed our lives into your hands
Confide in what you'll do
Sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth

It's a world full of cynics
Who say to stay alive in it
You've gotta stick with what you know
But the soul is always aching
For the heart to start taking
A chance by letting go
So let go.
Let go.

Sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth.

Since we've placed into your hands
Confide in what you'll do
Sometimes when you're trying to sleep
And all your doubts and your faith don't agree it's 'cause
Sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth.



=)

Posted by emma at 5:14 AM | Permalink | Comments

heyy

ahh, the coolest things ever happened yesterday...

that, and a NEW SONG came out by RK!!! i was soooo happy.

It's right here... www.gotee.com/host.php - it's called "the truth".. make sure you're not listening to that other song.. "miracle". that's obviously not them :-P

so... perhaps that last entry is now void. perhaps not.

but i hope to god that's void. that's it's wrong, and that he likes me.

I always regret doubting... but i also often regret letting myself fall.



not caring and rolling with the new chances,
emma <3

Posted by emma at 4:56 AM | Permalink | Comments

heyy...


he LOVES her. he said it himself.

i'm heartbroken.


no <3

^^ i can't do the other, better, broken heart symbol ... it interprets it as a broken tag.

Posted by emma at 9:10 PM | Permalink | Comments

Posted by emma at 8:09 PM | Permalink | Comments

heyy

You know, i think i've come to a weird ... halt in the path of "I know what I'm doing!"ness.

I totally thought i could brush things aside and make them happen/worry about them later. But it turns out that that's competely impossible.

It turns out, you see, i wind up feeling guilty over things i HAVEN'T said and i HAVEN'T done, opposed to things i've said and done already.

I also heard some very scary gossip from Garret (should that make me worried? it was garret, after all =P) about something... that the whole rest of the gosh darn band knows that i don't. So me and a particular someone... we're gonna have a little chat about what's going around behind me.

Not to say that anyone's talking about me, that's not it.

It just turns out (and i didn't know this until today) i have a HUGE "library" (hahaa sarahh) to pick from.

I have a favorite author.. but i'm afraid that if i write my report on him, it'll... get me a failing grade.

And i think a "coauthor" is reappearing... that ... could be a very good thing.. but... it could spell disaster for my current favorite author, as well as my feelings.


If no one is understanding this crazy library metaphor, it's okay... i only really expect Sarah to get it.
Everyone else can just figure it out.


For Pollock and Luisiana, all i can say it... as much as i hate the song "hakuna matata"... *it's stuck in my head like crazyyyy*

^^haha, outsiders, try and get THAT one :-P



um... and, oh yeah... MY JAZZ SHOES CAME IN!! hurray for jazz shoes!
And my jacket, and my white-and-black shirt....

and we tried on formal tops sunday!

it's been a good weekend.



<3 emma

Posted by emma at 2:43 PM | Permalink | Comments

heyy

Chris is the most heart-melting guy i've ever talked to.

He said this tonight: "well i'm sure whoever you end up with is will consider himself very lucky, cause he will be"

... isn't that sweet?

hahaa and: "why can't i stalk you i was gonna put you on my schedule tomorrow - right after my dr's appointment "stalk emma" "

and....

emmadilemma0014: hahaa
emmadilemma0014: that would've been so funny. if you just, like, showed up at my house.
emmadilemma0014: "hi, i'm here to bug the crap out of you"
Chris: except i wouldn't be bugging you so it kinda defeats the purpose
emmadilemma0014: yeah, you wouldn't .
emmadilemma0014: :-D
emmadilemma0014: that completely defeats the purpose :-)


too funny =P


<3 emma

Posted by emma at 10:40 PM | Permalink | Comments

heyy

I'm starting to grow fond of Alice in Wonderland...

cute picture, or what?



<3 emma...

just thought you'd like to see this adorable little picture.
I wish i was her.

Posted by emma at 11:11 PM | Permalink | Comments

heyy

hey look what i found on my buddy tiff's myspace!.



^^isn't that loverly ? :-)


Thanks tiff! I stole it from youuuu :-)!


<3 emma

Posted by emma at 7:46 PM | Permalink | Comments